I was at a nightclub this weekend and interrupted its uproarious subwoofer vibrations to step outside for a cigarette. Why I didn’t just say I stepped out for a cigarette, we’ll never know. As made my way outside and shoulder brushed various bouncers in mind (bitches), I spotted two of my female friends who had left to inhale the same death a few minutes before me. They were talking to two young chaps, obviously trying to make a favourable impression.
The two men were dressed nice enough, clean button-up shirts with khakis, and so I decided not to interrupt cock-block these two’s hopes of philandering later that evening. No doubt they were drooling over their short dresses, but the particular sloppiness of their drunkenness could have been the main attraction. The only thing we know for sure, is they were hard. (Yes, that kind of hard.) I decided to eavesdrop on their conversation instead, and what I heard made me laugh. On the inside. More like giggle. At their suffering. Like when a child steps on an ant. In my mind, sadistically.
The alpha dog of the group had decided that he would try and pick up the top hen by asking her what her Zodiac sign was (horoscope for your back page newspaper readers) and then use it as a basis for her current behaviour. I remember thinking if life is like a game of chess, that was a helluva weak opening move.
There’s something to be said about being memorable to a woman. But depending on context, being memorable can also be a horrible thing. You can be the butt of the jokes later that night. You can be part of the, “Can you believe that guy tried to say that to me?” All the while having opening the doors to other flaws that should have been left hidden had you not played such a weak hand.
No woman likes to be put into a box the first time you meet her. Those traits you’re mentioning are not all associated with her, because some of those horoscopes point out the flaws in someone as well, ones they aren’t ready to admit to a stranger. It’s a false sense of knowing someone, it’s a construction of destiny. And if you’re using it as a pick-up line, and she has an actual interest in it, do you really want to continue this conversation at a later time in a subject that you may think is foolhardy to begin with? Try for a genuine laugh or a genuine fact that she volunteers, don’t go for the one that pretends to outsmart her.
Because the truth of the matter is, if you went with that line and she gave you her number, you’re going to walk away thinking it was your horoscope game that did the trick. When really, if she found you attractive, she most likely made a snap judgment to give it you no matter what you said.
Lots of guys hide lies in order to fuck, it’s just gentlemen do it truthfully and out in the open.
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