rebel, playa, gentleman.

May 17th 2013

The Real Rule To Being A Gentleman

There are a lot of folks out there who can give you “rules” on how to be a gentleman. Manners, etiquette in social situations, what to wear, how to wear your hair, identifiable traits. Then, there are even women who may tell you what a gentleman is, by her definition. Warning: it may attract you because you want to get women. But all these rules are outside the nucleus of what makes a true gentleman: self-truth.

Remember, self-truth does not have to be correct or right to everyone, or even anyone else. Yes, in cases, it can even be extremely wrong (murder comes to mind). But stop being a sicko for a second and take self-truth at its face value. If you’re true to yourself, and that includes all your vulnerabilities, insecurities, awkward moments with your strengths, attributes and inspiring moments, that whole self will gain a following somewhere. No one can guarantee that you will be liked by everyone. Someone will always have a snide remark. But being true to yourself, by doing what you think is right, that is a form of integrity.

Let’s say you’re a swinger. You and your wife have come to an agreement that you both do not believe in monogamy. Everything has been put out into the open, and you have chosen to live that lifestyle. And when someone asks you to explain how your relationship is so successful, you answer bluntly. They may ask, “so basically, you’re allowed to cheat?” You can respond, “cheating would imply that I’m being dishonest.”

If you’re afraid say you’re afraid. If you believe, say you believe. If you want it, say you want it. Everything else will fall into place.

Posted at 2:24am and tagged with: gentlemen, rebel, playa, advice, men, raylontoc,.

The Real Rule To Being A Gentleman
There are a lot of folks out there who can give you “rules” on how to be a gentleman. Manners, etiquette in social situations, what to wear, how to wear your hair, identifiable traits. Then, there are even women who may tell you what a gentleman is, by her definition. Warning: it may attract you because you want to get women. But all these rules are outside the nucleus of what makes a true gentleman: self-truth.
Remember, self-truth does not have to be correct or right to everyone, or even anyone else. Yes, in cases, it can even be extremely wrong (murder comes to mind). But stop being a sicko for a second and take self-truth at its face value. If you’re true to yourself, and that includes all your vulnerabilities, insecurities, awkward moments with your strengths, attributes and inspiring moments, that whole self will gain a following somewhere. No one can guarantee that you will be liked by everyone. Someone will always have a snide remark. But being true to yourself, by doing what you think is right, that is a form of integrity.
Let’s say you’re a swinger. You and your wife have come to an agreement that you both do not believe in monogamy. Everything has been put out into the open, and you have chosen to live that lifestyle. And when someone asks you to explain how your relationship is so successful, you answer bluntly. They may ask, “so basically, you’re allowed to cheat?” You can respond, “cheating would imply that I’m being dishonest.”
If you’re afraid say you’re afraid. If you believe, say you believe. If you want it, say you want it. Everything else will fall into place.

May 17th 2013

Don't be that guy who's always bragging about his hustle | Inqmind

1 note

Hey, you! Are you the guy that likes to wave the âhustler flag?â If so, you may wanna stay focused on your goals instead of letting people know your goals.

Posted at 2:08am and tagged with: dontbethatguy, inqmind, rebel, men, advice,.

April 24th 2013

The Five Friends You Shouldn’t Have After Age 25

7 notes

(Get it straight, I love my team)

Being a gentleman isn’t all about the ladies you score. It’s also about being selective about the people you choose to surround yourself with. But when your credo has been “bros before hoes” since you were a youngster, loyalty plays a tricky part in separating those who are actual anchors in your life from those that are just weighing you down. Everyone has friends that they met by sheer luck: elementary school and highschool. By that I mean, the people that were put in front of your mug were there because of proximity to the school, not because of shared interests or pursuits. But going into college, university, and your workplace life, men begin to find that they can choose their friends if they have the courage to do so. It’s all about establishing a group of friends that can simultaneously navigate the club, play their role as wingmen, AND hold interesting conversations during dinner parties.

Take stock of your current group of friends and ask this question: Which of these people would I choose to hang out with now if I met them as a stranger today? It may startle you to find out the answer. If these guys are part of your crew you need to either pray they fix their behaviour on their own, or cut them off, as you grow apart.

1. The Cheapskate

Perpetually talks about the big money they are going to make, and how they “are getting that paper” yet routinely ducks you for small amounts of petty cash. Hard to get a hold of when they lose a $10-20 bet, and then Instagrams pictures of them holding two bottles in the club. Not that the cheapskates have a lack of money, they just choose to spend it on themselves rather than honour their commitments. They usually try and talk you down with, “we’ve known each other so long, and you’re going to make a big deal about $20?” Well, if it’s really not a big deal friend, pay up.

2. The Angry Drunk

Growing up doesn’t mean you have to stop getting wasted. On the contrary, you should be getting wasted in fancier places. The real strength of drinking is it loosens your inhibitions to act out who you really are. But there’s one problem with that: some people are really angry. Steer clear of that friend that likes to pick fights and draws you into them when their drunk. It’s not a matter of loyalty to your friend, of course you have their back. But when there’s no good reason to attack someone, do you become an accomplice in that? Did you support Germany when they attacked Poland out of nowhere? Don’t answer that it was a rhetorical question.

3. The Serial Canceller

There’s something to be said about people that have the courtesy to call you in advance to cancel. I applaud those who actually appreciate other’s time and make the effort to reach out to you to let you know they can’t make it. But the person that cancels over and over while promising they’ll make it up to you next time, that’s the person to watch out for. I can’t tell you the number it has to get to before you start questioning the party’s motives, but usually when you stop giving them the benefit of the doubt, you’ll know that you’re at the point where you’ve stopped trusting their words.

4. The Drunk Pervert

Ah, alcohol: the cause and solution to, all of life’s problems. Getting a little frisky with the opposite sex is a natural action when you’re a little over the edge, but the drunk pervert is where YOU get embarrassed. I mean, you’re the guy that brought along the guy that can’t take a hint and gets turned down repeatedly. You’re the guy that comes along to break up the conversation when the woman you know (also a friend of yours) shoots you a “save me” look after they were trying to be nice. And they are the ones you also have to watch in case someone passes out. But let’s not go there.

5. The Negatron

This is your all-negative all the time robot machine. Most likely a hardcore videogamer since he feels all real life interaction is a waste of time. Constantly shoots down ideas or calls opinions stupid. Is usually condescending with their categorizations of people. Includes backhanded racist remarks such as “I don’t like Jewish bakeries.” Most of all, makes you feel guilty for actions you do by using lines as “c’mon, remember when we used to… it won’t be the same now.” Yea, that guy.

And there you have it. I don’t usually have friends, but when I do, it’s never one of these five.

Posted at 2:52am and tagged with: friends, crew, 25, advice, men, women, relationships, relationshipadvice, gentleman, gentlemen, writing, lifestyle,.

March 26th 2013

The Difficult Conversations

Reblogged from lovelyderriere|4,734 notes

adulting:

This is a very simple ~~but~~and very important concept. (See what I did there?) These two phrases would be heard very differently:

“I love you but I need you to respect my boundaries.”

“I love you and I need you to respect my boundaries.”

The word ‘but’ negates whatever came before it, while the word ‘and’ signifies that whatever comes next is a logical extension of the thought.

Posted at 1:48am.

March 13th 2013

4 notes

Change of Focus

For those who still follow this blog (and actually read the articles), I thank you for being patient with me. I’ve recently gotten engaged, and to be frank, have felt quite odd dealing out my usual advice when I no longer live that lifestyle anymore. Or so I thought. I’ve come to realize, that maybe even perhaps through discussions on this blog, and infinite time debating with friends and my very own significant other, that I have perhaps unknowingly, achieved my goal. I have become a unison of the rebel, playa, and gentleman.

Without opening too much (the gentlemanly side of discretion), let’s just say that my wife and I are very liberal towards the standings of relationships. I would not be able to survive otherwise. I am rebelling against convention. She has also embraced my player-istic tendencies, fully aware, and not accepting them, but embracing them as part of who I am and part of the plan for her own future.

After some soul searching, I realize what this blog can now be moving forward. A guide, to help other brothers among us to achieve the same goal we’ve been looking for all along: happiness. I used to think I wouldn’t be happy in a relationship, and now I realize it’s the kind of relationship that limits you. But in the right setting, the possibilities are limitless. From this day forward, consider this place the haven of happiness. I support it and will be here to guide as much as I can. And maybe shine some light for myself when I find myself wandering, yet still knowing, that I am not lost.

Sincerely,

RPG

Posted at 12:37am and tagged with: rpg, advice, men, women, relationships, marriage,.

Change of Focus
For those who still follow this blog (and actually read the articles), I thank you for being patient with me. I’ve recently gotten engaged, and to be frank, have felt quite odd dealing out my usual advice when I no longer live that lifestyle anymore. Or so I thought. I’ve come to realize, that maybe even perhaps through discussions on this blog, and infinite time debating with friends and my very own significant other, that I have perhaps unknowingly, achieved my goal. I have become a unison of the rebel, playa, and gentleman.
Without opening too much (the gentlemanly side of discretion), let’s just say that my wife and I are very liberal towards the standings of relationships. I would not be able to survive otherwise. I am rebelling against convention. She has also embraced my player-istic tendencies, fully aware, and not accepting them, but embracing them as part of who I am and part of the plan for her own future.
After some soul searching, I realize what this blog can now be moving forward. A guide, to help other brothers among us to achieve the same goal we’ve been looking for all along: happiness. I used to think I wouldn’t be happy in a relationship, and now I realize it’s the kind of relationship that limits you. But in the right setting, the possibilities are limitless. From this day forward, consider this place the haven of happiness. I support it and will be here to guide as much as I can. And maybe shine some light for myself when I find myself wandering, yet still knowing, that I am not lost.

Sincerely,
RPG

February 28th 2013

4 notes

J.R.R. Tolkien

Posted at 12:50pm and tagged with: quotes, men, women, advice,.

“

Not all who wander are lost

”

February 25th 2013

1 note

The 80/20 Rule: Still a lot to learn

If you have player tendencies but are in a committed relationship, you may catch yourself slipping from time to time. Whether eyeing down another woman, or when given the chance, engaging in the thrill so few people truly understand. But it’s different now. You are in a relationship that no matter what thrills you experience elsewhere, the very thought of her finding out is still excruciatingly scary. Fearful of losing your loved one, you would go to undeniable lengths to keep these affairs secret. But the true mistake is in your mental preparation and you how approach the new game. You see, it’s new because you can’t play a woman like you did when you were single.

Being single, you’re able to see someone and date them continually. You are able to string them along because the woman has in her mind the remote possibility you may turn in a relationship guy, even if she knows full well when you’re a player. Unless you are a pure deceiver (which I argue will get you caught eventually), then the best process for a player in a serious relationship is to offer up the information that he is in a committed relationship, and do it up front. If you are man of stature, attraction or intelligence, even with this bit of information, you will still find a willing partner… eventually.

Here’s where the trick comes in: treat every night that you encounter this female as a one night stand. Make the most of those opportunities, and know you’ll never see that person again. You have someone to go home to. Calling that said affair the next day to continue the string of meetings will build into feelings for one of the parties. God forbid if it’s you. Remember, in a relationship a person can only really provide 80% of everything you need. The 20% is what tempts us to look elsewhere from time to time. But don’t trade in the 80% for the 20%. Those are the players that look back on their relationships to realize they made a mistake. But you can have it all my friends, if you’re careful enough to know that every affair from here on out is a one night stand.

Posted at 1:00am.

The 80/20 Rule: Still a lot to learn
If you have player tendencies but are in a committed relationship, you may catch yourself slipping from time to time. Whether eyeing down another woman, or when given the chance, engaging in the thrill so few people truly understand. But it’s different now. You are in a relationship that no matter what thrills you experience elsewhere, the very thought of her finding out is still excruciatingly scary. Fearful of losing your loved one, you would go to undeniable lengths to keep these affairs secret. But the true mistake is in your mental preparation and you how approach the new game. You see, it’s new because you can’t play a woman like you did when you were single.
Being single, you’re able to see someone and date them continually. You are able to string them along because the woman has in her mind the remote possibility you may turn in a relationship guy, even if she knows full well when you’re a player. Unless you are a pure deceiver (which I argue will get you caught eventually), then the best process for a player in a serious relationship is to offer up the information that he is in a committed relationship, and do it up front. If you are man of stature, attraction or intelligence, even with this bit of information, you will still find a willing partner… eventually.
Here’s where the trick comes in: treat every night that you encounter this female as a one night stand. Make the most of those opportunities, and know you’ll never see that person again. You have someone to go home to. Calling that said affair the next day to continue the string of meetings will build into feelings for one of the parties. God forbid if it’s you. Remember, in a relationship a person can only really provide 80% of everything you need. The 20% is what tempts us to look elsewhere from time to time. But don’t trade in the 80% for the 20%. Those are the players that look back on their relationships to realize they made a mistake. But you can have it all my friends, if you’re careful enough to know that every affair from here on out is a one night stand.

February 14th 2013

41 notes

Posted at 9:54am.

“

Careful… if we can love fiercely, then we can hate with the same ferocity.

”

January 28th 2013

Take being loved or hated, over being ignored

1 note

In general, its hard to take any sort of criticism or judgment without it hurting us. Naturally, we favour and crave others to like and want us. Regrettably, no matter how hard you try, there will be people who will not take a liking towards you. For players, this is more than a random occurrence, as reputation will often follow you from person to person, somehow making you believe there is a universal karmic balance that is towing you back in line. Im here to tell you that’s not true, and you are actually choosing the greater of the two evils by choosing to fight your reputation rather than accept your judgment. Instead of being concerned whether you are loved or hated, be thankful that you are not being ignored. Because people are talking about you, that means you are being noticed. It’s much better to have people say, “he’s a great guy” or “i don’t like him very much,” rather than, “who’s that?” Note, the first two phrases can be said about anyone, while that persons behaviour stays exactly the same. A person may judge you upon initial impressions that were handed to them from another source, but realize if they are talking to you anyways, they are still showing interest. Merely shrug it off, allow them to think what they want, and eventually they will form their own impression. This works on a case by case, person to person basis. That person may end up thinking their “source” fed them misguidex info. Then again, they may find it to be correct. But all in all… It’s better to be loved and hated, rather than ignored.

Posted at 10:18pm and tagged with: love hate, advice, relationships, mensadvice, gentlemen, Playa, player,.

January 15th 2013

7 notes

Thinking About Getting Ahead?

Imagine for a second, that every day, when you woke up in the morning, you knew you had to tread eight hours in the swimming pool. Rough right? You tread the eight hours, then when you climb out of the pool and lay on the deck, you feel exhausted. You need sleep, you need rest, and most of all, you need enough energy to repeat the feat again the next day. Only, when you jump back in the pool the following morning, it’s just as hard. The exercise, due to the longevity, is just as tiresome as it was originally. There must be a way to make this endeavour easier.

So one day, you get out of the pool, and instead of taking the full hours off, you put in extra work to strengthening your muscles. You work extra-outside of your time in the pool-in order to ease up the work you do when you have to get in the next day. But on the fifth and sixth day, your mental provision starts to waver. You now run the risk of being both mentally drained and physically drained. You’re stuck in a spot where, you want to have that free time to yourself because you need a psychological break, but you don’t want to get in the water the next morning. You’re in a lose-lose. This is the situation we as ambitious men find ourselves in, because we don’t realize that we can have anything we want, just not everything we want.

You’re ambitious, you have great ideas, and you can execute if only given a shot, but… you also feel entitled to the free time you have. Not that this is a bad thing, this is the way most of us feel when we approach our day. We wake up early, we do our 9-5, and when we come home, we feel an hour or two of reproach is justified. But if you use those two hours thinking about how to get ahead, just know that by investing the spare time in your relaxation, you haven’t invested it in the proper channel.

Posted at 12:30am and tagged with: advice, men, women, ambition, gentleman, relationships,.

Thinking About Getting Ahead?
Imagine for a second, that every day, when you woke up in the morning, you knew you had to tread eight hours in the swimming pool. Rough right? You tread the eight hours, then when you climb out of the pool and lay on the deck, you feel exhausted. You need sleep, you need rest, and most of all, you need enough energy to repeat the feat again the next day. Only, when you jump back in the pool the following morning, it’s just as hard. The exercise, due to the longevity, is just as tiresome as it was originally. There must be a way to make this endeavour easier.
So one day, you get out of the pool, and instead of taking the full hours off, you put in extra work to strengthening your muscles. You work extra-outside of your time in the pool-in order to ease up the work you do when you have to get in the next day. But on the fifth and sixth day, your mental provision starts to waver. You now run the risk of being both mentally drained and physically drained. You’re stuck in a spot where, you want to have that free time to yourself because you need a psychological break, but you don’t want to get in the water the next morning. You’re in a lose-lose. This is the situation we as ambitious men find ourselves in, because we don’t realize that we can have anything we want, just not everything we want.
You’re ambitious, you have great ideas, and you can execute if only given a shot, but… you also feel entitled to the free time you have. Not that this is a bad thing, this is the way most of us feel when we approach our day. We wake up early, we do our 9-5, and when we come home, we feel an hour or two of reproach is justified. But if you use those two hours thinking about how to get ahead, just know that by investing the spare time in your relaxation, you haven’t invested it in the proper channel.

January 15th 2013

2 notes

Emerson Brooks

Posted at 12:29am and tagged with: men, women, advice, quotes,.

“

A sure way to lose happiness is to want it at the expense of everything else

”

January 2nd 2013

9 notes

Why I’m Against Shower Sex.

I’m not saying NOT to do it if the moment compels you. If your girlfriend is asking for it… then sir by all means, don’t deny her the penetration. But here are some reasons why I try to avoid having sex in the shower. The first, the water washes away the natural lubrication of the woman, often giving you the feeling of a tug and pull with the skin on skin action. Second, unless you own a king sized tub (I made that up), you are restricted in your positioning. Either doggy style or cowgirl are the main elements here, but if you’re looking for an extended period of fornication, the shower is not where you want to be. Third, if somehow water does enter the vagina for your partner, this can cause major discomfort to her afterwards, which is always a pain once your sexual feelings have been satisfied. And lastly, you always get the feeling that you’re dirty once again after you’ve orgasmed, which ultimately, defeats the purpose of the shower. Not to mention that if you’ve been going at it for a while, your skin may feel taut and dry from hard water, and your private parts may feel raw.

Look, it’s undeniably hot looking when you see it in movies, but so is having sex on the beach on top of rocks in pornography. Trust me when I say, your girlfriend does not want to lie down on bare rocks while you eat her out.

There are still great things to do in the shower, and it still can be sensual. Taking a shower together is a great way to build intimacy, and a way to explore your girlfriend’s body with your hands, just have patience and let her get turned on, then you can have your penetration when you’re towelling her off. In my opinion… of course.

Posted at 11:35pm and tagged with: shower sex, men, women, sex, advice, relationships,.

Why I’m Against Shower Sex.
I’m not saying NOT to do it if the moment compels you. If your girlfriend is asking for it… then sir by all means, don’t deny her the penetration. But here are some reasons why I try to avoid having sex in the shower. The first, the water washes away the natural lubrication of the woman, often giving you the feeling of a tug and pull with the skin on skin action. Second, unless you own a king sized tub (I made that up), you are restricted in your positioning. Either doggy style or cowgirl are the main elements here, but if you’re looking for an extended period of fornication, the shower is not where you want to be. Third, if somehow water does enter the vagina for your partner, this can cause major discomfort to her afterwards, which is always a pain once your sexual feelings have been satisfied. And lastly, you always get the feeling that you’re dirty once again after you’ve orgasmed, which ultimately, defeats the purpose of the shower. Not to mention that if you’ve been going at it for a while, your skin may feel taut and dry from hard water, and your private parts may feel raw.
Look, it’s undeniably hot looking when you see it in movies, but so is having sex on the beach on top of rocks in pornography. Trust me when I say, your girlfriend does not want to lie down on bare rocks while you eat her out.
There are still great things to do in the shower, and it still can be sensual. Taking a shower together is a great way to build intimacy, and a way to explore your girlfriend’s body with your hands, just have patience and let her get turned on, then you can have your penetration when you’re towelling her off. In my opinion… of course.

January 2nd 2013

9 notes

Mignon McLaughlin

Posted at 11:20pm and tagged with: men, women, quotes, marriage, love,.

“

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times - always with the same person

”

January 2nd 2013

66 notes

6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person by David Wong

Let’s say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy rushes up and says, “Step aside.” He looks over your loved one’s bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife — he’s going to operate right there in the street. You ask, “Are you a doctor?” The guy says, “No.” You say, “But you know what you’re doing, right? You’re an old Army medic, or …” At this point the guy becomes annoyed. He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.

Confused, you say, “How does any of that fucking matter when my (wife/husband/best friend/parent) is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?” Now the man becomes agitated — why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn’t you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend’s birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery? In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, “Yes, I’m saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole.”

So here is my terrible truth about the adult world: You are in that very situation every single day. Only you are the confused guy with the pocket knife. All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.

Posted at 11:08pm and tagged with: resolutions, men, women, advice, relationships, mentality,.

6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person by David Wong
Let’s say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy rushes up and says, “Step aside.” He looks over your loved one’s bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife — he’s going to operate right there in the street. You ask, “Are you a doctor?” The guy says, “No.” You say, “But you know what you’re doing, right? You’re an old Army medic, or …” At this point the guy becomes annoyed. He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.
Confused, you say, “How does any of that fucking matter when my (wife/husband/best friend/parent) is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?” Now the man becomes agitated — why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn’t you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend’s birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery? In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, “Yes, I’m saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole.”
So here is my terrible truth about the adult world: You are in that very situation every single day. Only you are the confused guy with the pocket knife. All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.
Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/#ixzz2GslMqHzs

December 20th 2012

Players Know When To Break Up, Losers String Them Along

5 notes

Sometimes, it’s better to have the memory than the take on the risk of a bad result. A person’s intuition is often their most valued but under utilized tool. If you knew it was going to end from the start, it’s often hard to let her go because you’re having such a good time together. You only wish you could translate it into longevity. Problem is, she’s skeptical herself… and she mentions that to you. The reason she’s mentioning it to you? Because she thinks so highly of you at this moment in time.

This is your doorway, so know your opportunity. If you’re not ready, if she’s not ready, if the situation is not right, if you’ve been tempting fate, if you’ve been dipping in the barrel of sin or enjoyment for a short period of time, but don’t think it can go any further without someone getting hurt. Man up. Break it off right there, and actually make it mutual.

When you see her down the road the only thing she’ll remember is a good memory. And that memory, if untarnished, will be fertilized by her own mind into thinking you’re the perfect man, and fate may have something to say about it when you cross paths again. But try and burn it longer than it should, and all she remembers is the ashes.

Posted at 1:54am and tagged with: advice, men, relationships, gentleman, playa, rebel, women, love advice, love,.